


female astronauts and letting go and floating

by TheNamesTori



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY IT, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Suicide, THIS IS A DIRECT SUICIDE, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:08:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27912043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNamesTori/pseuds/TheNamesTori
Summary: Tommy hurthurthurthurts.Tommy wants to be in space with the female astronaut and let go and float with her. He just wants to-
Relationships: TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF) & Everyone
Comments: 32
Kudos: 371





	female astronauts and letting go and floating

**Author's Note:**

> I speadran this in an hour and a half straight. From 12:21 to 1:51. Exactly. I am tired, and i might turn this in for an English assignment that is due monday, because I really don't want to write another fanfiction tommorow night. Pray for me
> 
> ⚠️TW: SUICIDE, HANGING, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS⚠️
> 
> ⚠️please don't read if it makes you uncomfy⚠️
> 
> I hope you enjoy <3

  
  


As Tommy hears the three men pass through the portal, going back to their home, not his home anymore, he looks down. Down Down Down the miles of air till it reaches the lava beneath the path he is standing on. He takes a step forward. He's closer now, able to see a bit closer directly down. Another step. He’s at the edge now. He sits down, legs dangling over the drop. He stares down into the redandorangeandyellow below, mind blank but racing. He almost feels peaceful, can almost hear the pops of the lava over the other men talking through his communicator

He stands back up. Inches that little bit closer to the edge. He feels tired. He wants his mind to stop. HewantsHewantsHewants. But he can't have. 

A hand grabbing the edge of his sleeve and pulling him back to the center of the path. He didn’t even hear anyone come back through the portal through his loud thoughts. He turns and looks up into the smiley face mask of the man who has haunted his dreams.

“It's not your time to die, Tommy,” Dream says. 

Tommy wants it overoveroverover. But it's not.

“It never is,” he responds. blank eyes on a blank face.

  
  


_____________________________________

  
  
  


He's back to being alone again. Wilbur, or Ghostbur, said he wanted to go back and see how everyone in L’Manburg were doing. And Dream only visits when he wants to taunt him. Ha, look at Dream, thinking Tommy can break even more.

Tommy closes his eyes and puts in the new music disk _Chirp_. The jukebox is new and unfamiliar, so is the song. But that doesn't matter right now, because right now he hurthurthurthurts. And he wants to forget about that. He wants to float away from the anger, from the sadness, from the betrayal. He wants to feel the music and float away.

As the first notes of _Chirp_ play in the air, he thinks of floating away. He thinks of floating in space. Tommy closes his eyes and hears and feels and thinks of a female astronaut, floating in space. Seeing the Earth from a distance, and feeling calm. He sees the female astronaut let go, and he wants that too. He wants to be an astronaut in space. He wants to float and letgoletgoletgo with the female astronaut in space.

He smiles as he feels the tears start to slip out. He isn't a man right now, like he always insists he is. He is a 16 year old boy. And Tommy, a 16 year old boy, listens to _Chirp_ and thinks of female astronauts and letting go and floating. And he thinks about what he would do if he maybe, just maybe, went to space. And he could float with the female astronaut and let go with her. 

Tommy smiles and cries silently as he listens to the end of _Chirp_ while thinking of female astronauts and letting go and floating.

  
  


_____________________________________

  
  
  


Tommy can feel it. He knows it’s time. He feels the change. 

Tommy stands up and walksandwalksandwalks through his new portal and through the different dimension and through the familiar portal to home.

As Tommy walks through the old community house and walks on the oak wood path he sees nobody. That would be right, as it's christmas day and everybody is gathered in L’Manburg about to celebrate. That's fine, because he knows he will get to see all of them again.

Tommy reaches L’Manburg and walks around the back alleys so no one will see him from the nation center. He slinks his way through shadows and reaches The Spot.

As Tommy begins to untie his spaceship he hears the loud cheers from the crowd of people in the nation center, most likely because of a speech from their president.

Tommy begins to drag his spaceship to the top of the highest house in L’Manburg, he hears the cheers quiet, and he smiles, and the tears in his eyes build.

Tommy is now at the highest point in L’Manburg. Tommy can now be seen by the people in the center of L’Manburg. Tommy is now being shouted at. Tommy is now crying.

He giggles a little as the tears start to flow. He can see the shouting quiet down as he doesn't respond and he can see the moment they see him start to cry. 

“Tommy! Why are you here?” Tommy hears Dream yell up to him, his voice shaken and frightened in a way he has only heard once.

Tommy only smiles, silent. He turns and pulls his spaceship up for people to see. He hears gasps, and even though he knows logically they are gasps of terror, he hears them instead as gasps of delight. He knows this because he himself feels delight every time he sees his spaceship.

His spaceship isn't very pretty, and it doesn't look like a _real_ spaceship, it was just balloons for goodness sake, but it will get him to space. And that's where he wants to go. He want to go to space and he wants to meet the female astronaut and let go with her and floatfloatfloat with the stars.

Tommy says all this while he ties knots and picks up scissors and pulls everything up to the tippy top of the roof. He hears more gasps and he can hear a few start to cry. He doesn't know that they are horrified and frozen and trying to get him to stop. Tommy doesn't know because he can't hear them anymore. 

Tommy turns around once everything is set up. His head is clear now that there are only one-two-three tasks left to do. He does the first task and opens his mouth to speak, causing the others to close theirs.

“I-,” his voice is rough and unused and abused from the cries the night before, but he still tries, because he never gives up.

“I-I want to go to space,” He says loud enough for them to hear him from up there, “And I want to meet the female astronaut and I want to let go with her and I want to float with her.”

They are all quite down there, all having tears on their faces. All filled with saddnessgriefhateterror and f e a r.

Tommy continues, “And I want to listen to _Chirp_ , I don't want the other disks, whatever their names were. I want _Chirp_ ,” He pauses and sees the way his words make his old families emotions increase tenfold and he doesn't understand, but this is his third task to do so he continues.

“I want to go to _space_ … And I’m sorry you all can't come with me. I’m sorry you guys can't meet the female astronaut and let go and float with us.”

The tear run faster on everyone's face, including Tommy’s, though his is also adorned with a soft smile.

“And now, after I've said my sorries, I think it's time to go to space,” Tommy finishes with a smile, his tears slowing.

There is yelling happening and screams tearing through throats in L’Manburg’s center, but he ignores them, happily doing his last two tasks.

Tommy puts _Chirp_ into the jukebox standing behind him, unraveling the hundreds of strings from their knot on it, to the sound of screams and pleas and apologies andandand-

Tommy does his first task, his last task, and reties the strings back around his neck as the first notes of _Chirp_ fill the air- and he is being lifted in the air.

Tommy’s foot presses a button and he is propelled in the air to reaching higher in the sky than he's ever been, and for a few seconds his neck is free from the pressure. But then his body retains gravity and it hurts. It hurts so bad but he's going to space. And he's going to be in space with the female astronaut and let go and float with her.

Tommy notices he can't hear the screams and pleas and apologies andandand-

And while he can feel so much pain, he is floating and he is going to space and he can feel himself letting go and he can hear chirp and he starts to see the female astronaut and-

Tommy’s eyes close. Tommy’s soft smile remains. Tommy’s tear stained face drops. And Tommy’s body floats and let's go, and his soul flies to space and see the female astronaut who is playing _Chirp_ and he is happyandfreeandhappyandfree. 

  
  


Huh, Tommy wonders for the last time...

...what a feeling...

...freedom

  
  


**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [chirp sounds like death](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27938082) by [yesternight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yesternight/pseuds/yesternight)




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